Hey el bee...did you notice this statement under the listing?
"The seller of this home has requested that home value estimates not be shown. Per MLS rules, Redfin and other public MLS-powered sites may not display any automated valuation for this home."
Hahahahahaha! Gee...I wonder why the seller doesn't want the value estimates to be shown!??!!
Classic.
***************************************
Reader LB1 sent in today's stunning example of greed, ignorance and drool-tinged wishful thinking. LB1 says:
Great Blog, hopefully you'll save a few sellers from their own delusions.
Speaking of delusions, you've gotta check out this ridiculous listing from the bixby knolls area:
http://www.redfin.com/CA/Long-Beach/3962-Cedar-Ave-90807/home/7525777
Is that price a typo??
3962 Cedar, 90807
Price: $1,700,000
Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 2,233
$/Sq. Ft.: $761
Lot Size: 7,150 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1953
MLS#: P696067
On Redfin: 41 days
Down Payment: $340,000
Income Requirement: $486,000
Monthly Nut: $10,200 (that's right--for this place)
Description: Very nice home in a very nice area of Long Beach. Double pane windows with plantation shutters, new crown molding and baseboard, hardwood floors in all rooms, gas & wood fireplace with marble & wood mantle, ceiling fans, mirrored closet doors,security system, central heat & air, kitchen has 4 skylites and builtins, tile flooring, pantry and sliding drawers in cupboards, laundry room with laundry port from master BR and tile floor, 2 master bedrroms with double sinks, master bath has a jacuzzi with a view of the pool, waterfall fixtures and seperate shower with tile flooring, serving bar from the kitchen to a sunken den, with a view of a beatutiful patio and a sparkling pool, the pool has a shower, half bath and a changing room, fios ready, timed sprinkler system, fruit trees,maid and gardners side entrance, walking distance to the train and close to the Long Beach Airport.
"skylites"?
"builtins"?
"bedrroms"?
"seperate"?
"gardners"?
"beatutiful"?
Seriously, pal. This is an intervention. It's time to repeat the 4th grade.
The overwhelming number of typos is straight up pathetic. For a $1.7 million dollar house? You're demanding a six-fucking-figure commission for that?
Jesus.
As if asking nearly $2 million clams wasn't insulting enough, Carl pointed this out this typo-riddled gem buried in the listing information:
Listing Price Excludes: washe, dryer, refrig, garage lighting, antena
Wow, $1.7 million AND I have to go out and buy all new appliances? And freaking garage lighting?!
You can keep your "antena" Bro Satriani, because for $1,700,000 buyers expect motherfuckin' HD all up in that bitch.
Anyhow, even an appraiser with his coat pockets stuffed with wink-wink money would conclude this house isn't worth anything close to $1,700,000.
Even if you took the "1" off the front of that absurd asking price, it still wouldn't be a good deal. You see, if this joint was priced at $700,000, the resulting price per square foot price of $315 would still be ~$25 higher than the going ppsft. of recent sales.
How's that for some perspective?
Take a look at the nearby sold comps and tell me this seller is of sound mind:
$663,000 3935 Cedar Ave Sold on Jul 14, 2009
0.04 miles 4 bd / 3 ba 2,060 Sq. Ft.
$575,000 3918 Cedar Ave Sold on Aug 04, 2009
0.05 miles 3 bd / 3 ba 2,264 Sq. Ft.
$850,000 4212 Pacific Ave Sold on Jun 05, 2009
0.16 miles 4 bd / 3 ba 2,683 Sq. Ft.
$610,000 3825 Chestnut Ave Sold on Aug 07, 2009
0.19 miles 2 bd / 2 ba 1,988 Sq. Ft.
$146,363 4015 Locust Ave Sold on Apr 16, 2009
0.21 miles 2 bd / 3 ba 1,945 Sq. Ft.
$610,000 3820 Country Club Dr Sold on May 29, 2009
0.21 miles 4 bd / 2 ba 2,131 Sq. Ft.
$427,000 3834 Pine Ave Sold on Jul 20, 2009
0.23 miles 3 bd / 3 ba 2,304 Sq. Ft.
$735,000 4225 Locust Ave Sold on Jul 09, 2009
0.26 miles 3 bd / 3 ba 2,194 Sq. Ft.
$850,000 8 La Linda Dr Sold on Aug 14, 2009
0.4 miles 4 bd / 2 ba 2,327 Sq. Ft.
$640,000 4029 Elm Ave Sold on Mar 16, 2009
0.46 miles 4 bd / 3 ba 2,643 Sq. Ft.
What the fuck?
Where on earth did this numbskull get the idea that his incredibly average, woefully outdated house was worth $1,700,000. Was he looking at comps from 2006?
The current asking price per square of $761 [INSERT SPIT TAKE] is abysmally greedtarded, sure, but more than that it's depressing.
It's just really really sad.
This poor, lonely fool, with no friends or family to give him the truth and a realtor flaunting his lack of fiduciary duty by agreeing to this offensive asking price. Tsk tsk.
Considering this place hasn't been updated in ages, how could they possibly justify TRIPLING their initial investment in just six years? It's obvious this seller didn't put a dime into fixing it up and as Carl pointed out, "...this house hadn't had any permitted work since 1997."
I didn't realize crack cocaine was so popular in Bixby Knolls.
But maybe we're jumping to conclusions. Given the mangled, error-filled listing description, I'm hoping it's a simple typo and the price will be lowered to $700,000 very soon.
Because even though Long Beach is full of money-hungry delusionals, nobody could be this out of touch, could they?
I'm really hoping that price is just a mistake, but the place has been listed for over 40 days?
ReplyDeleteIf it is a million dollar typo, we're getting some new lows for realtor incompetence and indifference. Then again, if that is the list price, the realtor has just as much explaining to do.
I figured it out. If you let the pool evaporate, you get $1.15M in cocaine that you can sell. That has to be it.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe FiOS ready is a million dollar premium? I have FiOS and I love it!
btw, I think I found my new favorite line in this listing.. "Walking Distance to the Train and close to Long Beach Airport".
I can see how walking distance to the train would be a plus, if Long Beach was CHICAGO or NEW YORK. But it is the Metro Blue Line. Would you walk from Wardlow/Pacific to San Antonio?
"Close to Long Beach Airport" in this case is in the departure path of RWY30. So, you can see all of the blue underbellies of JetBlue's A320 and E190's as they make the turn heading south down the river.
There is just so much wrong here, I just can not believe it.
If it was a typo you'd think it would have been corrected by now... I'd love to see the look on the face of the seller and buyer after the appraisal comes in... the bank official will pee his/her pants in laughter and send them on their merry way... this house has a better chance of turning into escargot than making it through escrow!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDelete"A million dollar typo."
DAMN IT! I wish I had thought of that for the title!
Hey el bee...did you notice this statement under the listing?
ReplyDelete"The seller of this home has requested that home value estimates not be shown. Per MLS rules, Redfin and other public MLS-powered sites may not display any automated valuation for this home."
Hahahahahaha! Gee...I wonder why the seller doesn't want the value estimates to be shown!??!!
KatyinLBC, but of course it doesn't matter when Refin has local listigns and comps and then projects the value of the home based on those.
ReplyDelete:)
Hahahah...killer post. Good shit. I hope the agent sees this post. Please let them stumble upon it.
ReplyDelete