Roll Over. Sit. Stay. Stay. Staaaaay...

Boarding my flight from Atlanta to Fort Walton Beach, I noticed an impressively optimistic travel time estimation:

11 minutes? Uh, I'm pretty sure teleporting to Florida would take longer.

Anyway, on with the madness:

922 Magnolia Ave, 90813
Price: $242,000
Beds: 3
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 995
$/Sq. Ft.: $243
Year Built: 1908
Community: Downtown Area, Alamitos Beach
MLS#: P694541
On Redfin: 41 days
Down Payment: $48,400
Income Requirement: $69,000
Monthly Payment: $1,400
Description: Great Downtown area REO opportunity MUST SEE Don't Miss Out!!! 3 Bed 1 Bath Classic Home.

Wait. "Community: Downtown Area, Alamitos Beach"?

Are you serious?

You're probably closer to Redondo Beach than Alamitos Beach, guy.

Nice try, though.

I really wish the listing agent wasn't such a lazy sack of dumb because I'm dying to see photos of how three bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, and (presumably) a living room fit into 955 square feet. I bet that's impressive as hell.

But not nearly as impressive as the sales history:

Aug 18, 2009 - Price Changed $242,000
Jul 09, 2009 - Listed $254,900
Jun 26, 2009 - Sold $448,247
Mar 20, 2008 - Listed
Jun 16, 2004 - Sold $360,000 50.2%/yr
Dec 17, 2003 - Sold $294,000 85.0%/yr
Jan 08, 2003 - Sold $165,000

Wow. Look at those 2003 transactions. Between January and December '03, that house supposedly appreciated by $129,000.

The December buyer then flipped it six months later, enjoying $66,000 in bubble appreciation.

The sucker who bought in 2004 must have had a boozed-up HELOC and cash-out refi panty party because the bank took it back this July for $448,247. It appears the loanowner took out nearly $100,000 in additional debt against the house! Incredible.

And whether any of that money made it back into the house via upgrades (doubtful, if that photo is any indication) is irrelevant, because the bank is still going to eat a loss of at least $215,000.

And that's assuming they find someone who:

1) Considers this dilapidated Century Club member their dream home,
2) Is bold enough to live in this 'hood, and
3) Thinks $242,000 is a smoking deal.

Um, yeah. About that.

But for a few anomalies (most of which were much earlier this year) in the Recent Sales list, it doesn't look good for the bank:

$250,000 832 Daisy Ave Sold on Apr 30, 2009
0.1 miles 2 bd / 1 ba 985 Sq. Ft.

$275,000 625 W 10th St Sold on Feb 23, 2009
0.15 miles 3 bd / 1 ba 1,040 Sq. Ft.

$150,500 226 W 6th St Sold on Apr 28, 2009
0.35 miles 2 bd / 1 ba 772 Sq. Ft.

$205,000 337 W 4th St Sold on Jun 30, 2009
0.44 miles 2 bd / 1 ba 1,114 Sq. Ft.

$99,000 303 E 9th St Sold on May 12, 2009
0.5 miles 2 bd / 1 ba 780 Sq. Ft.

$463,336 1487 Elm Ave Sold on Jul 16, 2009
0.74 miles 2 bd / 1 ba 1,234 Sq. Ft.

$220,000 634 E 10th St Sold on Jul 31, 2009
0.79 miles 2 bd / 1 ba 884 Sq. Ft.

$95,000 620 Lime Ave Sold on May 22, 2009
0.86 miles 2 bd / 1 ba 836 Sq. Ft.

$165,000 817 E 10th St Sold on Mar 25, 2009
0.88 miles 2 bd / 1 ba 1,128 Sq. Ft.

It would be one thing if this REO was nice, but the house is such a dog it needs a leash.

And a flea bath.

And speaking of things that "stay," this nearby three bed/TWO bath has been rotting for 72 days asking an astounding $160,000 less!

Yikes!

I think the bank finding a buyer for $243 per square foot (when the average going price per square seems to be $150) has about the same odds as Favre's shoulder lasting the season.