Sunday, January 3, 2010

Wooden Teeth: UPDATE

Well, this is a fun way to start the new year:

The price was "$344,000" and changed to "$299,000"

By the way, this marks the THIRD YEAR on the MLS for this property. There are a lot of notable delusional greedtards in the LBC, but I think this guy, given that he paid $50,000 ages ago yet is still too dumb fucking stupid to price realistically ("I'm not going to just give it away!") and take the money and run, earns the Official RE in the LBC Eternal Shitbird Award:

I think it's especially appropriate given this photo:


732 N Washington Pl, CA 90813
Price: $344,000
Beds: 2
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 1,064
$/Sq. Ft.: $323
Lot Size: 3,850 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Single Family Residence
Year Built: 1905
MLS#: S514617
On Redfin: 630 days
Down Payment: $67,000
Income Requirement: $95,000
Monthly PITI: $2,100
Description: HUGE PRICE REDUCTION!!!Historical Craftsman w/loads of charm.Huge Formal LR,original features:hardwood floors,doors & hardware glass & brass doorknobs,kit with 'ice box' cabinetry,mosaic tile counter,coved ceilings,wrap around porch has been enclosed,orig sash windows,light fixtures,french doors.Oversized lot w/alley and street access.'Potters area off kit with washer and dryer hook-ups. Formal Dining room. 1 BR w/original built ins above closet, 2nd BR has double walk in closet. Bath has built in linen cabinet above tub. Tandem gar divided



Sweet mural. GONE!

Sweet kitchen. GONE!

No pics of the one bathroom, so you know what that means...GONE!

This realtor must have graduated from the Shaky McParkinson's School of Photography:

Really? 628 days to fix that shit and your potential buyers still get vertigo from viewing your listing? Clever.

The listing says "No Laundry in Unit" but that there are hook-ups in a "'Potters" area (a euphemism for "out-the-fuck-side"). That must be some kind of mistake.

Because there's no way someone is dumb fucking stupid enough to ask $344,000--nearly TEN TIMES the median income--in this awful neighborhood with no freaking laundry hook-ups in the house.

There's just no way.

Plus, the owners don't have a washer and dryer?! Just the hook-ups? Seriously, who the fuck lives here? The Swiss Family Slobinson?

But hey, at least it's got a "sleeping porch!" After viewing those interior photos, I think I'll take my chances sleeping outside.

This thing doesn't need fixing up, it needs a bulldozer.

This is a perfect candidate for Real Estate Intervention. The owner purchased this 104-year-old lean-to in 1981 for a paltry $50,000 ($47 per square foot, y'all!). In other words, with a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage, this dump should be paid off in a year and a half.

Considering the interest rate was 17.5% in '81, I'm sure this owner refinanced during the last 28 years. But the point is, there have only been three price reductions in nearly two years. Even with refinances they still must have a truckload of equity--why not just cut the price and walk away with stacks of bubble cash?

Nah, forget that. Just keep doing what you're doing. And by "doing what you're doing" I mean napping on your sleeping porch, washing your loincloth in the bird bath, and making drinking water from your pee.


  1. It's getting closer to the Zillow price and price of recent comps. The latest price chop is hefty and shows they want to getr rid if it. Anyone who wants this house and offers within reason will get it. Spend $50K and you have yourself a nice place.

  2. Anon,

    I disagree on a few fronts. First, Zillow is useless. Throw that out.

    Second, recent comps? 1100 East Appleton, one of the few comps to sell for $300,000 or more, is a three bedroom with 200 extra square feet. And, more importantly, it's in damn good shape. This Washington dump, on the other hand, is horrendous.

    Third, this latest price chop, while admirable, is meaningless. He waited so long to do it that the comps have long since passed them on the way down. The average sold price per square foot is now $222. This guy, with his Swiss Family Slobinson lean-to, has the balls to ask $281! Sure, the price cut is nice, but the cut he NEEDS to make (to get it down around $222 per square and potentially nab a sale) will not happen. He'll just hang on to it at that point. I mean, you really think he's suddenly in a hurry after YEARS on the market chasing WTF prices?

    Fourth, "Anyone who wants this house and offers within reason will get it." What makes you believe that?

    Fifth, "Spend $50K and you have yourself a nice place." Come on now. Have you seen the photos? Fifty grand?! The deferred maintenance alone means this is likely a tear-down. Even if you don't demolish and start anew, I seriously doubt 50 Large will create "a nice place." Livable, maybe, but "nice" is doubtful.

  3. My within reason price is $250K. Spend the extra $50K on renovations IF, and this is a big if, the infrastructure is sound. A quick look at the actual house can tell about the foundation and issues like dry rot.

    If OK it's a good buy in the mid-200s. Don't be mislead by the street view it is of the wrong house. What the albietly blurry photographs show is a pretty nice original house on a not so busy street.

    You can keep it that way or remodel it with the "granite" look (ugh). If you want to do the latter it's better to start with something like this that you know is OK (or not) rather than one that has already been done. Then you'll never know and if it was done as a spec house, and chances are it was, the work was done on the cheap.

    This is why I don't like to buy old homes that were "improved", unless there are pictures of the work or I know the contractor personally. Sellers aren't going to let you open their new walls to check the old work. Sometimes they will cover up issues with new cement or wood work.

    This could be a marvelous house to start on. I think seller is serious because he just chopped the price by more than he has in two years. Must be watching the interest rates go up.