Another Day, Another Dollar

700 East OCEAN Br #2102, 90802
Asking Price: $356,002
Purchase Price: $518,000
Purchase Date: 6/2007 (right at the peak, ouch.)
Beds: 2
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,080
$/Sq. Ft.: $330
View: City
Year Built: 1965
MLS#: Y904098
On Redfin: 137 days
HOA: $638
Down Payment: $356,002
Monthly Nut: $638
Description: THIS IS A CASH ONLY DEAL!! Property is corporate owned, we respond to offers right away. Take a look at the inside, this is chic to say the least and is perfect for somebody who just wants to move in right away. Sellers [SIC] loss, your clients [SIC] gain.

"THIS IS A CASH ONLY DEAL!!" LOL. Way to expand your buyer pool, idiot. Smart move catering only to buyers with hundreds of thousands of dollars just sitting around in coffee cans. Because we all know their numbers are growing by leaps and bounds.

Such a shame too because if they opened themselves up to a financed sale, I would definitely be interested in a clean, modern-looking condo like this. I've got the down payment and reserves, but I guess they're just not interested in selling to me. Too bad.

And just when you thought their sales strategy couldn't get any dumber, we get this:

Jan 06, 2010 - Price Changed $356,002
Dec 22, 2009 - Price Changed $356,001
Dec 07, 2009 - Price Changed $356,000

If you're going to be such a petulant moron and dick around with piss-ant $1.00 price changes, at least make them price reductions.

Hell, even the dumbest, most oblivious all-caps, mouth-breathing realtards know that "$355,999" is more psychologically appealing to buyers than "$356,000."

Given the complete lack of common sense involved here, I want to find out who the corporate owner is so I can avoid ever working for a company so obviously run by slack-jawed imbeciles.

Here is the listing history in full detail to illustrate not only the anatomy of a bubble, but the amount of financial pain in store for the seller:

Jan 06, 2010 - Price Changed $356,002
Dec 22, 2009 - Price Changed $356,001
Dec 07, 2009 - Price Changed $356,000
Nov 09, 2009 - Relisted
Oct 23, 2009 - Delisted
Aug 23, 2009 - Listed $399,000
Jul 03, 2008 - Delisted
Jul 03, 2008 - Relisted
Jun 18, 2008 - Delisted
Jun 18, 2008 - Relisted
Jun 04, 2008 - Delisted
Jun 04, 2008 - Relisted
May 21, 2008 - Delisted
Apr 03, 2008 - Listed
Jun 11, 2007 - Sold (Public Records) $518,000
May 12, 2007 - Delisted
Apr 25, 2007 - Delisted
Apr 14, 2007 - Price Changed
Apr 14, 2007 - Price Changed
Mar 10, 2007 - Price Changed
Mar 07, 2007 - Price Changed
Feb 14, 2007 - Price Changed
Feb 13, 2007 - Price Changed
Jan 29, 2007 - Listed
Jan 04, 2007 - Listed
Oct 29, 2004 - Sold (Public Records) $519,000 (27.1%/yr)
Apr 17, 2003 - Sold (Public Records) $359,000 (81.1%/yr)
Nov 26, 2002 - Sold (Public Records) $285,000 (11.2%/yr)
Jun 02, 1995 - Sold (Public Records) $129,000

In 1995, near the bottom of the last housing downturn, this place went for only $129,000. Freaking amazing. The PITI was barely more than the HOA payment! Anyhow, that 1995 owner doubled his money in just seven years and thus began a frenzy of quick flips and bubble exuberance.

Interestingly, the 2004 owner paid $519,000, but was unable to capitalize on three years of appreciation during the greatest housing bubble in history, and sold to the corporation in 2007 for $1,000 less than he paid (hopefully that transaction was the company bailing out one of its executives). Good one.

The corporate owners tried to unload less than a year after purchasing but ended up without a place for their misguided keisters in the game of Real Estate Musical Chairs. By 2008, all of the party guests had gone home and there was no one left to save them.

The loss on this apartment, assuming some fool with more stacks of cash than brain cells buys for full asking price, will be -$180,000 plus upgrade costs (which don't look cheap).

So here we are, after nearly two years on the market, farting around with one-buck price increases while the highly sought-after all-cash market gets smaller and smaller.

Not to mention, this is a less-desirable city view apartment. Why shell out all that money with no ocean view, I can hear the cash-flush buyers asking. Worse, this unit is being undercut by other city view apartments in the building:

$329,000
700 East OCEAN Ave #1102
2 bd / 1.75 ba
1,080 Sq. Ft.

$329,000
700 East OCEAN Blvd #2402
2 bd / 2 ba
1,080 Sq. Ft.

$279,000
700 East OCEAN Blvd #1902
2 bd / 1.75 ba
1,080 Sq. Ft.

Yes, they are short sales so the prices don't mean much until something closes, but just for one minute let's set aside the problems with short sales pricing (and the SS process itself) and assume you could buy one for $329,000. Your monthly payment with 20% down would be roughly $2,300--including that rapetastic $638 HOA fine. Rents for ocean-facing units are ~$2,000. The Rent vs. Buy ratio is getting awfully close for these units, meaning $329,000 seems like a decent price in the current market.

Which in turn means our seller isn't that far off.

The issue here is the myopic decision to narrow potential buyers to only those who have cash in-hand. It's seller suicide.

Why not just restrict your buyer pool to redheaded ambidextrous French-Canadian bird collectors?

In the meantime, we're looking forward to your next $1.00 price increase!