Thursday, July 30, 2009

Bridgeport Bungle

4743 E 4th St, 90814
Price: $379,485
Beds: 2
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,206
$/Sq. Ft.: $315
HOA Fee: $390
Year Built: 1983
On Redfin: 748 days! (listing says 64)
Down Payment: $76,000
Monthly Payment: $2,400
Income Requirement: $108,000
Description: Fell Out Of Escrow Not REO Or Short Sale. This has it All. Located in Prime Highly Desirable and Rarely Available Belmont Heights Bridgeport Complex. Clean, Light & Private Condominium with Cathedral Ceilings in approx 1,206 Square feet. Beautiful 2 bedroom or 1 bedroom & Office, 2 bath condominium. Kitchen has new granite like counters, Comes with Refrigerator and Brand New Washer & Dryer in Full Size Laundry Room. Beautiful Hardwood Floor Entry. Gas/Wood Fireplace. Large Master Bedroom Lots of Closet Space. Bright & Airy Formal Dining Room and Breakfast Area. Delightful Treetop View Balcony Features Two Side x Side parking plus storage. Community Pool & Spa newly resurfaced. 3 Year New Roof, Guest Parking. Steps to the Lagoon and less then a mile to 2 Golf Courses, Starbucks and trendy 2nd Street, 1.1 mile to Ocean. Bridgeport Units have sold in 2008 for as high as $344.72 per square foot this unit is being offered for as low as $314.66 per square foot, a $36,252.00 Saving.

According to the realtor, "Bridgeport Units have sold in 2008 for as high as $344.72 per square foot."


Lady, you just cited sales from 2008! Are you out of your six-percenting mind? So much equity destruction has occurred since '08 you might as well have referenced prices in 2028 to make your case about what a "deal" this is. That comparison would have been just as relevant.

And if all that random Title Case didn't give your eyes a proper work out, it gets worse. To wit: "Granite like counters."

What the fuck are "granite like counters"? Makes about as much sense as a "Bentley-like Kia" or an "Air conditioning-like ceiling fan." Either it's granite or it's not, you fool.

And I love this oddly defensive line: "Fell Out Of Escrow Not REO Or Short Sale."

That's like a buddy saying to you, "Yeah, dudes, she technically broke up with me but I was totally going to do it anyway. Yep, I'm completely fine--no, better than fine! I can't wait to get out there, and, you know, bangbangbang! Right? All the time, man. I just, uh, I...*whimper*'s uh, *sob*'s totally...*sob*...her loss, man."

This apartment has been listed since July 2007(!) and the seller (and the not-doing-their-client-any-favors realtor) still don't get it. And neither does this knob a few doors down with the House of Horrors kitchen--also on the market since two summers ago.

And speaking of two summers ago, would you mind explaining how the fuck you remain on the market for so long yet fail to put up a single picture of the interior? That's some quality realtorin'!

Ugh, what a disgrace.

And the last few posts on the Long Beach Housing Blog were so positive! And all it took was one delusual idiot to ruin everything.


  1. wow. just wow.

    Fell Out of Escrow = Appraiser came in and injected a realistic number into the equation causing the lending back to run the fuck away faster than a deer from a fire.

    and what is up with the price? $379,485??? Did the seller and realtor sit down with a calculator to figure out what was needed to cover the existing mortgage, a 6% and a small profit for the seller? Why not $379 or $380?

  2. "And speaking of two summers ago, would you mind explaining how the fuck you remain on the market for so long yet fail to put up a single picture of the interior? That's some quality realtorin'!"

    It's simple really:
    3% of $400K is only $12,000...
    It takes me three months working full time teaching gangbangers in East L.A. to make that much money. With a credential and a Master's degree and 20 years experience.
    But a realtor: oh my!!! They ain't getting sufficiently compensated to take no goddam pictures, homey!!!

  3. Yikes. Tax records say 1 BR. There are 4 interior pictures of this apparently vacant unit in MLS, by the way. No sales in over a year. Another current listing, same plan, $399. Good luck.

  4. ValleyBroker,

    Oofa! How do the pics look? I'm dying to know about the "granite-like material." Can you tell from the pics if they knocked down a wall to make it a 1-bedroom?