Friday, April 10, 2009

Dirt McGirt

Psst! Wanna see a dirty picture?

No, not that one. This filthy portrait of greed, delusion, and desperate market chasing:

Feb 24, 2009 Price Changed $274,000
Mar 12, 2009 - Price Changed $239,000
Feb 24, 2009 - Price Changed $274,000
Jan 03, 2009 - Price Changed $279,000
Dec 19, 2008 - Price Changed $299,000
Dec 04, 2008 - Price Changed $329,000
Nov 24, 2008 - Price Changed $350,000
Oct 07, 2008 - Listed $404,000
Jan 23, 2004 - Sold $367,000
Mar 30, 1999 - Sold $135,000
Sep 14, 1998 - Sold $70,000
Oct 03, 1997 - Sold $122,325
Jul 31, 1992 - Sold $120,000

Yikes, what a sordid tale.

As you can clearly see, in early 2004 our seller purchased the duplex for an astounding $367,000. That's $232,000 more than the previous owner paid just five years earlier (23.1% appreciation per year!).

Then, after a few years of crime, deadbeat tenants, constant maintenance calls (a likely result of perpetually-deferred maintenance), and incessant headaches, our seller finally got fed up and in October 2008 listed the property with a hilarious price tag of $404,000.


Mind you, any investor worth his salt would know prices had been on a steady decline since 2007, yet he still decided to add a 10% premium to his (already inflated) purchase price. This move was pure greed. And adorable.

Anyhow, he quickly acknowledged the futility of that asking price, accepted there were no greater fools out there to help him in his quest to break even, and began cutting the price every month thereafter.

And here we are today.

Asking $239,000.

Still waiting for a greater fool.

And waiting.


Just, uh, hangin' out.

Scopin' out the scene.


Straight chillin'.

Makin' deals.

You bet.

Ship's comin' in aaaaaany minute now.

Interestingly, the seller seems fully aware that the ONLY people that could possibly be interested in this "fixer uppper" (Now there's an understatement. The only thing that could "fix" this dump is a bonfire and a bulldozer) are investors (I mean, does anyone out there think someone would buy this mold farm and actually live in it?). To wit:

Gross Scheduled Income: $18,600
Monthly Gross Scheduled Income: $1,550
Gross Multiplier: 12.85
Actual Annual Gross Rent: $18,600
Actual Gross Annual Income: $18,600
Net Operating Income: $12,342
Capitalization Rate (%): 5.16
Taxes (New): $5,000

Multi-Family Expenses:

Operating Expense: $6,257
Advertising Expense: $150
Water/Sewer Expense: $800
Trash Expense: $120
Gardener Expense: $500
Insurance Expense: $800
Licenses Expense: $100

FreedomCM seems to have a handle on this kind of thing, maybe he can crunch the numbers and see if the assumptions are correct and this makes sense.

Even if the numbers do pencil out, it begs the question: If makes such a great, cash-flowing, "bread and butter" investment property, why sell it in a rapidly deteriorating market for a loss of $140,000?


Hey, wanna see another dirty picture?

Click on the Redfin link, scroll down to the Overhead View, click Aerial, and take a gander at all that backyard dirt!

Combine a garden hose, a few tiki torches, some loose women, and you've got yourself the best mud-wrestling stadium EVER.

I wonder if they figured admission fees into their Gross Scheduled Income calculation?


  1. Hah, you knew I would be right in there.

    Lets see...bulldozer...check. Fire/insurance fraud=only way to make this pay.

    5% cap rate for this POS? I'd rather have a 0.5% cap rate on my money market fund, and use the 20 hours/month it would take to run this place to enjoy my stress-free life. (notice no 'management fee' on those expenses, also, the expenses are yearly, so gardener is $40/mo)

    I think that most slumlords want a 15% cap rate, or a GRM of 7 or 8, to take on the hassle of a POS like this..


  2. Ah, I knew you'd come through! And thanks for clarifying the gardening costs. Not quite as funny now--I'll change that on the post.

    And keep in mind there are ZERO interior photos, so who knows what ghastly surprises are in store. I somehow doubt the cap rates or calculations factor in the $40,000 or $50,000 required to fix it up (bathrooms, plumbing, roofing, appliances--all total unknowns).

  3. Hey El Bee!
    Did you see that your blog was mentioned as one of the best real estate blogs? Take a look!
    Also, I started you a fan club on facebook...hope you don't mind!

  4. Katy,

    That's awesome! And thanks for starting the facebook page. Let's get every reader to join!

  5. yeah! I love it! So far I am the only member...but I've invited some of your facebook fans...let's see if they want to go public with their hatred of the greedtarded and their love of the blog! The name of the group is: "I'm a fan of the Long Beach Housing Blog"
    Yeah...I know it's not creative, but it is to the point!
    BTW, I might need therapy about a rental I looked at the other day. $2195 a month (reduced from $2495)...great location...but the carpets were actually crunchy with dirt and water damage and there were exposed wires everywhere! Grrrrr... take a look:

  6. Ouch. He's going to get caned.

  7. LB,

    This didn't out too bad.{scid=hdp-site-map-bubble-address}