Sunday, March 1, 2009

Profiles in Delusion: UPDATE II

In two previous posts I skewered the greed and audacity of this seller (and their horrific kitchen) and I'm happy to report that not a damn thing has changed since the original listing date on February 19, 2008.

Yes, they've lowered the asking price, but considering their WTF starting price of $649,000, they've only been chasing the market down--consistently a few (and by few I mean 2,370) steps behind.

Dude, you've been on the market FOR A YEAR. Do you think, just maybe, just possibly, just on a lark, YOU'RE STILL ASKING TOO MUCH FUCKING MONEY FOR YOUR APARTMENT?

Really? That's never crossed your mind?

There are some new pictures included in the listing, featuring this new main photo:


And check out this new, adorably illiterate listing description:

PRIVATE AND SEREAN TOP/CORNER OCEAN VIEW CONDO WITH NO COMMON WALLS, TWO SECURE PARKING SPACES AND PLEANTY OF STORAGE. Two stairwells and a Custom Elevator (special key entry opens direct to unit, No halls) center the two pillars of stacked condos. Nearby Belmont Pier, Bluff Park, bike paths, sand/beach, Belmont Shore. Strong HOA and really cared for building. Spacious master suite with major closet space, large second bedroom, Inside Laundry room with Skylight, Office area, Dinning room, and Family room and eat in Kitchen with planning station.

"SEREAN"? "PLEANTY"? Holy shit that's amazing! I just had a great idea for a Saturday Night Live skit that centers around a group of realtors training for a spelling bee.

"The word is...Location..."












"Correct, Becky!"


My favorite aspect of this listing, as always, is that "eat in Kitchen" (by failing to hyphenate "eat-in," it reads like an order from a stern parent: "Don't get your Spaghettios on my damn couch! For the last time, eat in kitchen!"):

Good God, man. You're asking $545,000 for that? You should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously.

I'm not even going to crunch the numbers because $545,000 for this meh-partment is still ridiculously overpriced (Fun Fact: if you bought in February of last year, you would already be $104,000 in the hole--not to mention the further depreciation on the way).

Unfortunately, this Delusual seller is infected with Bubble Immunity Virus, or BIV. This eternal optimist believes because of the (awesome) location, the housing collapse has not affected his property values. Everyone else in Long Beach, but not him. But he is not the only one afflicted with BIV. You see, he has been sharing needles with his neighbors.

Click on the Redfin link and check out the equally-idiotic neighbors and their equally-greedy asking prices.

$529,900 3833 E 2nd St #203
0.27 miles2 bd / 2 ba 1,349 Sq. Ft.

$560,000 2999 OCEAN Blvd #840
0.36 miles3 bd / 2 ba 1,510 Sq. Ft.

$499,000 2737 E 2nd St #4
0.49 miles3 bd / 2 ba 1,449 Sq. Ft.

$799,000 2601 E Ocean Blvd #802
0.58 miles2 bd / 2 ba 1,364 Sq. Ft.

BIV has taken over this entire area, we may need a quarantine.

Given the sheer delusion and avarice at work in this neighborhood, how many properties do you think have sold during the last six months?




Try TWO.

One property every three months! And take a gander at the closing prices of these comps:

$403,000 210 Grand Ave Apt 105 Sold on Dec 26, 2008
0.24 miles 2 bd / 2 ba 1,406 Sq. Ft.

$342,000 2032 E Bermuda St Unit 108 Sold on Feb 12, 2009
0.98 miles 2 bd / 2 ba 1,289 Sq. Ft.

Yeah, good luck with your $545,000, jabroni. I'll see you at sub-300k at the bottom.

It's obvious that this seller doesn't get it and never will. He is content to waste everyone's time (including his) until the bottom is reached and he loses all of his equity. So, I'll be sure to update you as they continue to chase the market like it's an incontinent puppy that just swallowed a diamond ring.


  1. Pic # 16 in the listing is a picture of the view. Palm trees, rooftops, and power lines.

    Nothing says "livin' large" more than views of the power lines!

    Looks like on a $375K purchase back in 2003, this glorified renter put $5,000 down. There is a $296K first, and a $74K second.

  2. Carl,

    Thanks for the loan info. It makes you wonder, given the length of time on the market and the reluctance to come down from WTF pricing, is there some HELOC abuse going on here?

    If so, they certainly didn't spend that money on the kitchen or bathrooms (we can only conclude the bathrooms are terrible given the lack of photos).

    And if there is no HELOC action, then just what the hell do you suppose they're waiting for when it comes to pricing realistically?

  3. Delusional sellers and matching "realtors" (ha-ha) make up a nice couple, dumb and dumber. Not sure which one is what, but there are still too many of them painting each other's life to the colors of perfect sunrise. I was fortunate enough to meet with a fairly large number of -dumb beyond imagination- "realtors" at various open houses. It's horrifying. Just think about, that dumb, spoiled little toy of sugar daddy is going to handle a serious part of the most important purchase of my lifetime?
    It takes a long time to see "dumb and dumber" disappear...