The Summer of '89

Address: 232 E Louise St, 90805
Asking Price: $129,900
Year Built: 1979
Size: 2 beds, 1 baths, 874 sq. ft.
$/Sq. Ft.: $149
Purchase price: $324,307
Purchase date: 8/2007
MLS#: S08153774
On Redfin: 147 days
Down Payment: $26,000
Monthly Payment: $800
Income Requirement: $37,000
Description: Built in 1979 this is a newer 2 Bedroom 1 Bath Home. in near move in condition. in good condition, shows well, Clean the carpets, maybe a little paint and it will look great, It has a 2 car detached garage, cute back yard with rose bushes and at $129,900 is price at less than 35% off its sell price in 2006. A screaming deal as a rental or starter home. Corporate owned and sold AS-IS.

"Newer," eh? I guess that depends on what you're comparing it to, but okay.

"Clean the carpets, maybe a little paint and it will look great"?

HEY DUMMY, THAT'S YOUR JOB!

I thought you were actually trying to sell this pile of crap! If it only needs minor work like carpet and paint to make it "look great" then what the fuck are you waiting for? Isn't your role as a realtor to ensure your clients' houses are clean, presentable, and attractive to buyers?



Readers, do yourself a favor and click the Redfin link and peep the Aerial View of the property. What is this thing? A Union Pacific railcar?

And while you're at it, you should zoom out on the overhead map to get an idea of just where this house is located. Are you sure that's still Long Beach?! Yikes!

And here's another interesting claim in the description: "at $129,900 is price at less than 35% off its sell price in 2006." From what I was able to decipher from that quasi-literate sentence, the agent claims $129,900 is "35% off" the 2006 price of $380,000 (that's $435 per square, by the way!). Uh, noooooo...35% off of $380,000 would be $246,700.

This idiot has no idea what he's talking about. A realtor who can't do math? That's weird.



Ohhhhh...I see. The listing agent added an extra "f" to "35% off." $129,900 is roughly 35% OF the 2006 sales price.

If this listing agent were smart, he'd boast that this shack is actually 65% OFF the 2006 price. It's a much stronger number from a marketing perspective. But remember, I said "if this realtor were smart."

65% is a huge number. This is an insane, catastrophic loss in just 23 months. I don't think I've ever featured a bigger collapse in "value" in the history of this blog. Some people are wondering at what price-year values will finally stop declining...2002? 2001? 2000?

Well try this on for size: This saltine box is a 1989 ROLLBACK.



The August 2007 sales price of $324,307 is also notable because that is when this wretched hovel went back to the bank. It was promptly dumped on the market 10 days later and has been rotting away on the MLS ever since (it says "corporate owned" but I think they mean "bank owned." Oh, who the hell cares. Whomever owns this thing is neck-deep in turtle shit).

So assuming this dump sold today for the asking price of $129,900, the bank would face a staggering loss of $194,407. Not to mention a year-and-a-half of carrying costs. Ouch.