Monday, November 9, 2009

Daily Nut Job

4422 East 2ND St, 90803
Price: $809,500
Beds: 2
Baths: 1.75
Sq. Ft.: 1,737
$/Sq. Ft.: $466
Lot Size: 4,373 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1954
MLS#: P702474
Source: CARETS
Status: Active
On Redfin: 56 days
Down Payment: $162,000
Income Requirement: $231,000
Monthly Nut: $4,400
Description: Great Belmont Shore/ edge of Heights Home! Original Hardwood floors throughout! Great floor plan with open living room that leads to dining room. Plus large Den that could be used as office or extra living room! Separate laundry room easily accesible off of kitchen. Covered patio with spa with plenty of backyard to spare. Additional side yard great for dog retreat or any retreat for that matter! Plantation shutters in living room with fireplace. Bedrooms are extremely spacious. Keep as one story home or add second story for full view of the shore and the ocean. Location is ideal; end of 2nd street while at the edge of gorgeous Belmont Heights!

You know what, for once I think this seller can get away with calling it "Belmont Shore." Most sellers try in vain to claim the nearest nicer neighborhood, attempting to glom off the higher values--but I think this guy is being unecessarily precise with the "edge of Heights" thing. Dude, you can claim the Shore. It's okay.

Whether it's the Heights or the Shore or whatever, there is little debate that this is a prime neighborhood. Which begs the question: If the nabe is so wonderful, then why the Ghetto Gate (to borrow a term from FreedomCM) on the front door?

Yikes! Judging by the absurd asking price of $809,000 for this dump, I'd say it's not so much to keep undesirables out, but to keep the batshit crazies in.

Let me just say, unequivocally, that there is not enough government intervention or free ponies in the world to make this a good deal. Sorry. It doesn't matter how great the "Belmont Shore/ edge of Heights" area is, the lot is horribly, horribly located.

Check out the Aerial View on the listing and marvel at how the property not only sits right atop busy-ass Livingston, but ALSO gets the noise of the 2nd Street/Ximeno four-way stop (two of which are downhill, requiring harder stops)!

Ass-loads of traffic noise + weirdly shaped lot + no yard to speak of = Mondo Undesirable.

On top of that, when I went by last night I noticed it's flanked by two, two-story apartment buildings on either side.

Plus, IT'S ONLY A TWO-BEDROOM! For $810,000?! Really?

Hell, not even the pollyana uber-optimist dreamweavers at can muster up the strength:

$598,080(low); $712,000 (estimate); $776,080 (high)

Even their "high" estimate, which connotes a truly amazing property that's in spectacular shape and fully upgraded, is $33,420 lower than this nutter's asking price.

Does this look "truly amazing," "in spectacular shape," or "fully upgraded" to you?

What a fucking joke!

Speaking of jokes, here's a little listing history for that ass:

Sep 09, 2009 - Listed $809,500
Aug 15, 2001 - Sold $460,000 (+17.3%/yr)
Oct 28, 1999 - Sold $345,000 (+15.4%/yr)
Apr 26, 1996 - Sold $209,000

Look how dirt cheap this joint was during the last housing bottom! And anyone who needed proof that the bubble started before 2001 should take a gander at the difference between the 1996/1999 and 1999/2001 sales prices. Boo-ya!

So, considering our seller purchased for $460,000 eight years ago and the deplorable condition of the house, just how the hell did he come up with an asking price $349,500 more than what he paid?

The same reason people hoard cats, I would imagine.

Because even assuming this hovel appreciated at a (very generous) 4% per year rate since purchase, this dusty dung button would be worth--at most--$629,500 today.

And considering not one dime went into upgrades, I simply fail to see how this asking price is justified. I guess someone might be interested in it as a teardown, but the lot price is too expensive. I mean, take another look at the interior!

Halloween's over, guy. Stop scaring the kiddies!

I'm really looking forward to seeing what the inevitable price cut amounts to. This seller has tons of equity (assuming he didn't cash-out refi to the hilt) so he can afford to be aggressive. But I have a funny feeling the voices in his head will convince him his place is "special" and we'll have a LOOOOOONG time to ponder how people still exist that haven't heard about the collapse of the greatest housing bubble in history.

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