Tuesday, September 30, 2008

West Ocean Two Auction Results

A reader in the Volk You, Buddy comments provided a link to a September 10 Wall Street Journal article describing the auction results for West Ocean Two. Good looking out, anon!

Some of you have been asking for information on these towers (and AQUA), so I thought it deserved to be featured on the front page of the blog.


My comments/rant:

I'm legitimately worried about your mental well-being if you willingly pay $700-$900 a month in HOA fines. Ooh, but it has a conference room!


A friend's co-worker recently bought a 1 bed/1 bath ocean view unit for $350k. Sweet deal, right? Sure, as long as you don't count the additional $250,000 (over the life of the loan) in non-deductible HOA fees. I don't know about you, but it's difficult to write $700 checks and not "count" that money.

They reel people in with the hook that "it's 50% off the original asking price!" Dude, that "original asking price" was conceived on Fantasy Island, based on straw buyers, outright fraud, builders holding back inventory to create false demand, and idiot knife catchers with no access to newspapers setting ridiculous, untenable "comps." Who is falling for that cheaper-than-last-year-so-it-must-be-a-bargain crap? (Plenty, apparently.)

And how do you know they're not just making last year's price up to make it seem like a better deal? Pretty tough to check on those things, isn't it? But I suppose desperate builders, loan owners, and realtors are all perfectly honest with prospective buyers, right? RIGHT?

I mean, what good is 50% off if the original asking price was marked up by 200% to begin with? Is a $15 pack of gum a "steal" if 7-11 was asking $40 for it the week before? No, dummy, you just paid $15 for a freaking pack of gum!!

Don't get me wrong: Those towers are sweet as hell. An ocean-facing, newly constructed unit in that building? Fuhghedaboudit. But I think paying $600,000 (factoring in HOA) for a one-bedroom in downtown Long Beach is for suckers. Plain and simple.

By the way, 1 bedrooms in AQUA (city views) rent for $1,600. Whoops! Somebody's paying more than double to "own" a 1-bedroom in West Ocean Two.

Auction buyers, I suggest you get a tetanus shot. That falling knife you just caught looks rusty.


  1. "Is a $15 pack of gum a "steal" if 7-11 was asking $40 for it the week before? No, dummy, you just paid $15 for a freaking pack of gum!!"

    Hahahahaha!!!!! This is why I LOVE this blog!! Srsly, you should think about doing this for a living. . . . true and funny and sad and enraging, all at the same time!!

    We should feel sorry for all the $15-pack-of-gum-buyers out there but there are just so many of them, and it's scary -- but at least your blog makes me laugh!


  2. I guess you must have never owned a nice home. I easily payed between $1000 to $1500 per month to maintain my home which included lawn service, pool service, utilities (which should be very minimal in a condo) and ongoing maintenance. Therefore $700 per month seems pretty cheap to have all this taken care of for you.

  3. $700 seems cheap??? And you pay over a thousand for lawn and pool service???

    Hey, if I leave you my address, can I clean your pool and do your lawn for $500 a month?

    That's HALF of what you're paying now...

  4. Seriously, I just came from this place, after happening across it while looking at condos, and recognizing it from billboard and web advertisements I had seen....

    While the showing was "off the hook", you walk away shaking your head about that extra 700.

    Don't get me wrong, their surrounding amenities are superb, but 7 HUNDRED????

    Well at least the property taxes will be low I guess.