Thursday, September 25, 2008

Confidence is Key: UPDATE

Last time we featured this property, I encouraged the seller to stay strong. With so many negative nellys out there, it's so easy for sellers in Long Beach (which, as you know, is a World Class Citytm like San Francisco, Paris, or New York) to feel pressure to lower the prices.

I say DON'T DO IT! Sellers don't owe buyers anything, and certainly shouldn't be lowering prices to "lure" buyers! If they're just too ignorant to realize the snowflake uniqueness of your house, then you should just wait until a sophisticated buyer with taste and appreciation for high-class abodes flies in on his private jet.

On September 4th I said:

Even better, you priced it 20% to 40% above nearby listings to let everyone know you are an aggressive, sophisticated investment strategist. Congratulations, you totally DOMINATED your neighborhood and let everyone know just how special your property is.

I believe!

Only pansies listen to that crap about price per square foot "anchored in the real world." You may not be on the sand, but that's even more reason to price it like you are. I mean, this is Long Beach! Are you going to let Laguna Beach, that wannabe city unworthy of the "LB" initials, outprice you? Hell no! You slap a $673 per square foot price on your house and show those "superior" beach cities that Long Beach is a world class city worthy of world class prices.

Well, no bidding war started, so it's obvious the extremely wealthy foreign buyers were delayed at Hong Kong airport. My guess is that all of those cash-stuffed suitcases exceeded the weight limit for the private jet. So until they can sort that out, we're stuck with those low-life Long Beach buyers. What a bunch of mongrels to not see what a steal $1.75 million is.

Anyhow, the seller (against my advice) lowered the price by -$150,000 for a new, bargain bin asking price of $1,599,000. Man, you should have held out.

At $1.59 mil you're only going to attract total white trash with domestic cars and clothes that weren't purchased at Neiman Marcus. Yuck! You want that kind of shady element in a house you so lovingly flipped?! I mean, to afford your new way-too-generous asking price, they only need to make $400,000 a year. Gross!

I hope you're happy. Because you didn't wait for all of those wealthy Russian oil barons (who feel more at home with Long Beach's crime, mediocre schools, and 100-year-old construction) to snap up your house for over asking price, the new broke-ass hillbilly buyers are going to pull up in front of your house like cousin Eddie from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.


But, before that happens, you still have a chance to raise the price to above $2 million. Once the trillion dollar Banker Buddy Bailout is approved, housing will be instantly saved, lenders will resume handing out million dollar checks to poor people, and prices of luxury resorts like yours will skyrocket!!!!1!! Don't miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity!!!! Won't last!!!1!

1 comment: