Thursday, September 4, 2008

Confidence is Key

Atta boy.

Address: 2311 E 1st St, 90803
Asking Price: $1,749,000
Year Built: 1908
Size: 5 beds, 3 baths, 2,600 sq. ft.
$/Sq. Ft.: $673
Purchase price: $955,000
Purchase date: 3/2007
MLS#: P654248
On Redfin: 2 days
Down Payment: $350,000
Monthly Payment: $11,000
Income Requirement: $437,000
Description: Absolutely stunning Craftsman highly renovated Bluff Park showplace! This 100 year old home has had absolutely EVERYTHING done from the foundation, plumbing, electrical, roof, heating and so much more. This home features beautiful original hardwood floors throughout, wood beamed ceilings and craftsman window mouldings and castings throughout, original beautiful doors and knobs, a gorgeous formal dining room with built in hutch, brand new kitchen with Silestone countertops and Subway tile backsplash and d cor accents and a wonderful breakfast nook, 2 main floor bedrooms and large bathroom with his & her sinks, tons of closet space, 3 large additional upstairs bedrooms with 2 more completely remodeled baths, upstairs laundry room, secret tea room, huge rear yard with an oversized 2-car garage AND a 1,400 SqFt basement that could be used for many things! Truly too much to list! You must see this home to appreciate the detail at every turn.


Now that's how you flip a house! Pay top dollar for a run-down fixer-upper, put in some mediocre upgrades, give your bathrooms a cheap once-over reminiscent of the state of the art circa 1987, fix the crumbling infrastructure, and demand $794,000 for your troubles.


And what timing! Buy in March of 2007, when the market is totally red hot, and sell at the end of summer in 2008--when the market it even hotter! Hot damn, this guy is good.

And you totally intimidated me with your staging. Teach me your ways, master! Nothing sells houses faster than that creepy, dead-grandparent-buried-underneath-the-pergo-floors vibe.

Nailed it!

Even better, you priced it 20% to 40% above nearby listings to let everyone know you are an aggressive, sophisticated investment strategist. Congratulations, you totally DOMINATED your neighborhood and let everyone know just how special your property is.

I believe!

Only pansies listen to that crap about price per square foot "anchored in the real world." You may not be on the sand, but that's even more reason to price it like you are. I mean, this is Long Beach! Are you going to let Laguna Beach, that wannabe city unworthy of the "LB" initials, outprice you? Hell no! You slap a $673 per square foot price on your house and show those "superior" beach cities that Long Beach is a world class city worthy of world class prices.

Don't let those naysayers and sissy bloggers push you around! No, you get right out there and show them that their "data" and "irrefutable facts" are just doom-and-gloom propaganda! I mean, hell, the National Association of Realtors, that unbiased, reliable source, says there are countless foreign investors earning $275,000 per year who are looking for a 100-year-old house just like yours. You can't throw a rock without hitting one in this hot market!

Man, with your aggressive style and savvy pricing strategy, I'll bet a bidding war starts like a forest fire this weekend! I am in awe.

$1.75 mil in your face! Suck on that, reality!


  1. wow, pretty house...
    i bid 600K$

  2. Careful now. Our sophisticated, aggressive, money-stacking investment guru won't be happy to hear that kind of talk.

    Haven't you heard? We've hit a pricing bottom!