Love Letter from a Fan

In the comments section of A New Price Per Square Foot Record: UPDATE, I received a new dose of hate mail:

The photo...if that is you and this.....

You assume all risk for your own use of the information provided as the accuracy of the information is in no way guaranteed. As always, cross check information that you would deem useful against multiple, reliable, independent resources. The opinions, jokes, and sarcasm expressed on Long Beach Housing Blog are for entertainment purposes and should never be considered investment advice.

SAY IT ALL...

You are one of the most ignorant, misinformed imbeciles that I have had the displeasure of reading...try climbing out of of your dark hole, investigating and securting [SIC] the facts before you open that dark hole of a misinformed and ferstering [SIC] piehole of a mouth....Good Luck CAPTAIN REAL ESTATE!!!

Okay, I'll bite.

But I'll have you know I don't feel good about picking on individuals who seem so mentally unstable.

"The photo...if that is you"

Um, you mean this photo?

Of Randy Quaid?

Playing Cousin Eddie?

From National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation?

Are you serious?

And let me get this straight: You're criticizing me for having a disclaimer on my website that encourages readers to do their own research and be informed buyers when making the single largest purchase of their entire lives?

That's a bad thing?

What would you prefer? That I write:

I AM AN INVESTMENT GOD AND ALL INFORMATION ON THIS SITE IS GOSPEL AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS GOLDEN INVESTMENT ADVICE FOR EVERY POSSIBLE FINANCIAL SITUATION. I AM AN INFALLIBLE EXPERT AND YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME, AND ONLY ME, WHEN MAKING MAJOR FINANCIAL DECISIONS. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE REAL ESTATE SITUATION TO CHANGE, SO EVERYTHING HERE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED COLD, HARD, IRREFUTABLE FACT.

Guess what? Realtors have been doing that for an eternity. How did that "infallible, expert wisdom" of realtors and mortgage slingers work out for buyers during the last few years?

Exactly.

Furthermore, everybody's situation is different, so why on earth would I proclaim to give blanket financial advice? I'm not a financial planner, I'm not a stock broker, I'm not a real estate guru, I'm not a commercial real estate broker...are you saying I should claim to be?

You don't seem very sophisticated, but I'll ask anyway: Have you ever read the fine print of supposed "financial experts"? Here's some fine print from TDAmeritrade:

As your agreement for the receipt and use of market data provides, the securities markets (1) reserve all rights to the market data that they make available; (2) do not guarantee that data; and (3) shall not be liable for any loss due either to their negligence or to any cause beyond their reasonable control.

Well, what do you know? They don't guarantee their information either!

You're obviously in denial about housing, so why don't we see what your perma-bull allies at the California Association of Realtors, who you think are more "informed" than me, have to say:

C.A.R. takes reasonable steps to maintain the accuracy and update the Content on the Site. However, C.A.R. does not make any representations or warranties regarding the accuracy of the Content, nor does C.A.R. make any commitment to update the Content. C.A.R. reserves the right in its sole discretion to add, remove or otherwise modify the Content and the Site at any time without notice.

10. DISCLAIMER. THE CONTENT ON THE C.A.R. SITE IS PROVIDED "AS IS" AND TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTEDBY APPLICABLE LAW, C.A.R. DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, TITLE, NONINFRINGEMENT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, SECURITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. C.A.R. DOES NOT WARRANT OR GUARANTEE THE ACCURACY, AVAILABILITY, RELIABILITY, ACCESS TO OR UNINTERRUPTED AND ERROR FREE OPERATION OF THE SITE OR THE CONTENT.

11. LIMITATION OF LIABILITY. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW, IN NO EVENT SHALL C.A.R. BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, ANY DIRECT,SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, INCIDENTAL OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES, LOSS OF PROFITS, DATA OR PROGRAMS ARISING FROM THE USE, INABILITY TO USE, OR RELIANCE ON THIS SITE OR FROM ANY INFORMATION OR CONTENT DISPLAYED, UPLOADED TO OR DOWNLOADED FROM THIS SITE.

Hey, be sure to CC me when you send them a quasi-literate tirade criticizing them for not guaranteeing the information on their website and not being liable for bad financial decisions.

Quit acting like such a fucking idiot, Anonymous.

And if I'm "one of the most ignorant, misinformed imbeciles that I have had the displeasure of reading" THEN WHY DO YOU READ THIS BLOG EVERY SINGLE DAY? I'll never understand that one.

Furthermore, if I'm so misinformed, then please set me straight oh wise one. Seriously, I will publish anything from you that can refute my calculations or show how rip offs are actually a good deal.

I'm waiting.

In the meantime, let's get back to your love letter:

...try climbing out of of your dark hole

Junior, my life is so good I'm jealous of myself. My future is as bright as 100 suns and my hope is that one day once your foreclosure-related credit score has recovered and you learn to spell, you'll be able to enjoy a similar life path.

investigating and securting [SIC] the facts before you open that dark hole of a misinformed and ferstering [SIC] piehole of a mouth

Mmmm...pie...

So you're saying my facts aren't properly investigated or "securted?" I don't get paid to write this blog--I spend countless hours securting the facts because it benefits my readers and my own education about the real estate market. Why would I spend all that time and energy researching and writing this blog only to publish inaccurate and unsecurted information? If readers felt as if the facts, figures or charts were inaccurate (or not available to check against other sources), then they might feel insecurt about coming here.

I'm still waiting for your counterargument showing how your facts are more securted than mine, or how 1724 Bluff won't continue to go down in price. But you won't send those facts because you don't have them. You, like the other deniers-of-reality (realty?), have absolutely nothing productive or interesting to offer. Just broad, baseless personal attacks and nothing worthy of debate or discussion.

So, I look forward to your continued readership and I wish you a speedy financial recovery.

....Good Luck CAPTAIN REAL ESTATE!!!

Actually, I like this nickname. Mind if I use it?