A New Price Per Square Foot Record: UPDATE

Everybody hop into the Way Back Machine, because I have an update on a Long Beach Housing Blog classic!

In one of the very first posts on this blog (man, I can't believe it's almost been a year) I featured a property with the most outrageous price per square foot in Long Beach.

Well, browsing through Redfin I stumbled upon the property again...still decomposing on the market. Kind of lonely out there, eh guy?

Interestingly, a few things have changed since the glory days of January, namely:

1) It is now suddenly a "fixer-upper"
2) The price has been reduced by -$1,505,000 for a new asking price of $2,995,000
3) That discount translates to a new price per square foot of $936, which forfeits the record for highest price per square
4) The days on market have stacked up to a mind-blowing 416 days
5) This beautiful photo has been added:

Cool ladder.

Do you want to hear the strangest part about this 416-day saga?

The place went on the market for $4.5 million before it was even built! Here, look at this picture from back in the day and focus on the left hand side:



That's right, folks. THE FINISHED PRODUCT IS 1.5 MILLION DOLLARS CHEAPER THAN THE BARE STUDS WE HAD IN JANUARY.

My, how times have changed.

Here's the good news: They bought the land for $930,000 in 2005. Pretty good deal for being on the sand. So long as they didn't spend more than $2 million on demolition and construction, they might break even.

Assuming construction costs were $150 per square foot (this was 2005 after all), they likely spent about half a million. Regarding carrying costs, if they put 10% down they've been shelling out around $4,400 a month (factoring in tax deductions) since January of '05. That's around $206,800 total.

I'm sure there is plenty of room to play with those numbers, and I guarantee there were unexpected costs up the wazoo, but the overall point is they are going to make a profit if this place sells for it's current asking price of $2,995,000.

That's awesome!

Except for the simple, possibly overlooked, slightly pesky, tiny little itty bitty fact that

IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, SHITHEAD!

I mean, look at this poor sucker, languishing on the market for a brutally painful 656 days.



Wait, WTF? Take another look at that photo. Nice photoshop skillz, numbskull. That strange creation of yours makes me want to double my tsunami insurance.

"AHHHH! MY HOUSE THAT I PAID $3,629,000 FOR IS TOTALLY SUBMERGED IN FILTHY LONG BEACH WATER! HELLLLP!! WHEN THE REALTOR TOLD ME IT WAS 'ON THE WATER' I DIDN'T THINK HE MEANT LITERALLY ON THE FUCKING WATER!!!"

Anyhow. Best of luck to all of you high-priced wonders on the sand (or in the ocean being swallowed up by high tide, as the case may be). I'm sure your Chinese shipping magnate or Russian oil-garch will soon arrive to rescue you from your debt-traps.

Just keep holding on for a few (hundred) more days!