Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Shorn in The Shore: FINAL UPDATE

A few weeks back I berated our favorite delusional seller at 185 Quincy #202.

In the August 7 post I wrote:

Especially with the slower selling seasons of fall and winter approaching, there's no hope for you selling at this asking price. And since reducing your asking price to a reasonable amount would result in the loss of $100,000 plus commissions--not to mention another ~$130,000 in carrying costs since your '05 purchase--you only have two choices:

1. Send the keys back to the bank and and rid yourself of this albatross that, given your astronomical purchase price, won't produce a profit for another 20 years, or

2. Take it off the market today, relax, and start enjoying "Belmont Shore living at it's [sic] finest."

Us taxpayers would prefer that you choose the latter, but either way, do us all a favor and throw in the towel. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the Smurf-blue kitchen.

Well, the seller has finally heeded my advice and taken the property off the market. After 8 fruitless months trying to unload their albatross for a loss (albaloss?), our seller has decided that the "scumbag lowballers" and "vulture-faced bottom-feeders" out there simply don't have the class and style to recognize just how "special" and "unique" his place is and he's taking his ball and going home.

As I pointed out several times in the past, this condo never had a shot at selling in the $400,000 price range (or even $350,000) in part because Rent vs. Buy calculations were a joke. I have been proven right once again.

But to be honest, victory seems hollow this time around.

You see, I was starting to have a special affection for #202's specific brand of delusion.

So, I'd like to take this time to salute our former seller for being so tenacious in the face of so much bad news (read: reality). Kudos for denying the facts for so long and reliably insisting your cramped quarters were worth whatever you claimed they were--I really appreciate the laughs.

We'll miss you, but ultimately you've done the right thing. My only hope is that during your wait for the market to "come back to normal" you can swing your monstrous apartment payment. Otherwise I guess we'll see you again in a few months after the Notice of Default goes through.

Of course, you'll be long gone by that time, trying desperately to convince the apartment manager at the complex off the 405 and Long Beach Blvd. that your busted credit score doesn't reflect the true you.

The incredible work ethic. The relentless optimism. The laser-focused determination. The affinity for royal blue.

Godspeed, Delusional Smurf. May you finally find real estate riches in the next housing bubble.


  1. They won't be gone. They'll get to live for at least a year rent-free from that first missed payment.

    Life is grand!


  2. LOL!

    Paying zero rent truly is "Belmont Shore living at it's finest."