That's a Helluva Sales Strategy You've Got There: UPDATE

This Maersk shipping container with windows is all over the place:

Jul 26, 2009 - Price Increased $426,000
Jul 25, 2009 - Price Decreased $399,000
Jul 20, 2009 - Relisted
Jul 01, 2009 - Price Increased $426,000
Jul 01, 2009 - Relisted
May 14, 2009 - Relisted
May 13, 2009 - Delisted
May 11, 2009 - Listed $399,000
Jun 09, 2008 - Delisted
Jun 01, 2008 - Relisted
May 27, 2008 - Delisted
Apr 07, 2008 - Price Changed
Feb 12, 2008 - Listed

What a weirdo.

Psst. Here's a helpful hint: If you've dropped the price by $27,000 and still nobody's interested...keep dropping the price. This may sound strange, but buyers respond to good deals--not abject rip offs. I know! Sounds crazy! But it's no crazier than your current non-sensical, disturbingly erratic pricing strategy.

A poem from this seller:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm a schizophrenic,
And so am I.

That's a Helluva Sales Strategy You've Got There

Address: 416 Roswell, 90814
Asking Price: $426,000
Year Built: 1922
Size: 3 beds, 1 bath, 956 sq. ft.
$/Sq. Ft.: $446
Purchase price: $533,000
Purchase date: 2/2006
MLS#: P686872
On Redfin: 500+ days
Down Payment: $85,000
Monthly Payment: $2,400
Income Requirement: $122,000
Description: APPROVED SHORT SALE. Charming 3 Bedroom Bungalow with Hardwood Floors, Spacious Kitchen, Indoor Laundry, and Private Back Patio.

Hilarious. This thing has been rotting on the market since February of 2008 with absolutely no interest. Recently, the asking price was reduced to $399,000, which was obviously still way too much because it continued to collect dust.

The bank finally got around to approving a short sale a few days ago...ASKING $27,000 MORE THAN THE LAST RIDICULOUS WISHING PRICE!

Smart move!

I mean, how does that logic play out? A place that can't garner any interest whatsoever at $417 per square foot is suddenly going to be attractive at $446 per square? WTF?

I understand why the lender wants to squeeze as much blood from this turnip as possible, especially since the short seller purchased this microscopic beach bungalow for an astounding $533,000 (for this place?!) in February 2006. But if the bank's upper management thinks they're getting out of this with only a $131,000 loss, are out of their Kool Aid-snorting minds.

Hell, even the listing agent knows there's no way in holy hell it'll go for $426k: That property description has to be one of the most uninspired, lackluster examples of seeing-the-writing-on-the-wall I've seen in a while.

At a certain point the bank needs to get realistic. Today is not that certain point.

That's a Helluva Sales Strategy You've Got There: UPDATE III

The last time we were updated about this overpriced train car we were informed:
The status was "Active" and changed to "Contingent"

Whoops:
The list price was "$426,000" and changed to "$414,000"
The status was "Contingent" and changed to "Active"

This dummy's been wasting everyone's time since February of 2008. And after dicking around and jacking up the price in anticipation of the Spring Bounce and Super Summer Selling Season, he's quickly finding out how foolish that greed-faced approach was.

One more price cut and he'll be back to his May asking price. What a waste.

To be fair, this might not entirely be the short seller's fault. The bank might be dragging its heels on accepting market value (which, as is obvious by now, is not anything above $399,000).

As you have probably figured out, this house is technically on the MLS but is not actually for sale--the bank has no interest in selling for anything less than a WTF price. This qualifies as shadow inventory.

It will eventually become REO, but thus far the lender has done a fantastic job of keeping this thing in limbo and avoiding realizing a loss on its books.

We're talking 550+ days on the market here, folks. And this is happening all over. Those expecting a tidal wave of REO to hit the market all at once have to ask themselves: Given the eternity this distressed property has been (essentially) kept off the market and kept off the bank's books, what government or regulatory entity will suddenly step in to ensure another 550 days don't transpire?

That's a Helluva Sales Strategy You've Got There: UPDATE LXVIII

**UPDATE**

I love my readers. Littletiger1969 hooked us up with the 411 on our favorite saltine box. Finally some closure, but at the same time I'm pretty floored it took this long for the "Cycle of FAIL" to be completed. Check it:

Littletiger1969 says:

"Got these from RealtyTrac
416 Roswell Ave
Long Beach, CA 90814

History of Notices

Recording Date
9/10/2009
Status
NTS

Recording Date
6/9/2009
Status
NOD

Default Amount
$16,261

Keep up the good work!!"

Oh for fuck's sake.

Just two days after this...

The list price was "$414,000" and changed to "$389,000"

...we get this:

The list price was "$389,000" and changed to "$414,000"
The status was "Active" and changed to "Contingent"

Can someone with access to public records please look up whether a Notice of Default has been filed? I'm curious if this dude has been living rent free while the bank dicks around with this short-sale-that's-not-actually-for-sale.

I mean, just look at this:

Sep 16, 2009 - Price Changed $414,000
Sep 13, 2009 - Price Changed $389,000
Aug 27, 2009 - Price Changed $414,000
Aug 27, 2009 - Relisted
Jul 26, 2009 - Price Changed $426,000
Jul 25, 2009 - Price Changed $399,000
Jul 20, 2009 - Relisted
Jul 01, 2009 - Price Changed $426,000
Jul 01, 2009 - Relisted
May 14, 2009 - Relisted
May 13, 2009 - Delisted
May 11, 2009 - Listed $399,000
Jun 09, 2008 - Delisted
Jun 01, 2008 - Relisted
May 27, 2008 - Delisted
Apr 07, 2008 - Price Changed
Feb 12, 2008 - Listed
Feb 01, 2006 - Sold $533,000
Feb 27, 2003 - Sold $350,000
Jul 27, 1999 - Sold $187,000
Apr 16, 1991 - Sold $199,000

This house has been on the MLS for 570+ days and I want to get an idea of when it will go back to the bank and finally, mercifully, be put out of its misery.

That's a Helluva Sales Strategy You've Got There: UPDATE IV

Ugh, just put a bullet in this thing's brain already.

The list price was "$414,000" and changed to "$389,000"

Has there ever been better evidence of banks doing everything in their power to delay the foreclosure process and keep properties off their books?

A year and seven months of this happy horseshit. Just sayin'.

That's a Helluva Sales Strategy You've Got There: UPDATE 1,067

Sure. Why not?


The list price was "$414,000" and changed to "$409,000"
The status was "Contingent" and changed to "Active"

That's a Helluva Sales Strategy You've Got There: UPDATE II

The status was "Active" and changed to "Contingent"