Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Time is Money: FINAL UPDATE

After 250+ days on the market and $200,000 in price reductions, Ted Kaczynski's toppled cabin finally sold for $985,000.

Interestingly, the sales price was just a shade ($50,000) higher than the 2005 sales price. Considering most properties selling in Long Beach are well into 2003 pricing, being able to sell for an '05 price speaks volumes to the stickiness of Naples.

Congratulations, Naples, you really are different!

Oh, wait.

It turns out the 2003 price was $925,000, meaning this dump in fact did sell for a 2003 price.

So much for stickiness.

Anyhow, the bigger point is that after commissions this seller pretty much broke even. Wow! That's such a rarity these days that I think it's worth congratulating.

Although five years of ownership without one red cent of appreciation is nothing to crow about, at least this guy, unlike most Long Beach sellers, was realistic enough to accept a lowball offer. And because of that, he didn't lose a dime and is now able to move on with his life.

Well played.


Address: 37 58TH Pl, 90803
Asking Price: $1,049,000
Beds: 3
Baths: 3.5
Sq. Ft.: 2,305
$/Sq. Ft.: $455
Lot Size: 2,396 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1923
MLS#: P693252
On Redfin: 177 days
Down Payment: $210,000
Income Requirement: $262,000
Monthly Nut: $6,700
Description: Check out this fantastic ocean and bay view peninsula home PLUS INCOME! Front house is a two story two bedroom two bathroom home. The entire second level is master bedroom with a giant ocean and bayview patio and enormous bath with a sauna! Rear building has a one bedroom and studio unit. Rents coming in at $2050/month. That offsets over $380,000 of mortgage at 5%!

It seems potential buyers have been checking out this "fantastic ocean and bay view peninsula home" for quite some time now. And yet a sale eludes this guy.

With photos like these, I simply can't figure out why. Check out this kitchen:


I have to admit this view from that "giant" patio is incredibly impiressive:

The master bath ("with a sauna!") is also something to behold:

Absolutely stunning!

Or this shot of the two rental properties in back:


The exterior may look like Ted Kaczynski's cabin fell over, but the gorgeous interior speaks for itself!

But, hey, cut this listing agent some slack--ever since the real estate market bottomed in 2007 2008 2009, he's been insanely busy. Selling as many houses as he does, as quickly as he does, means 177 days isn't nearly enough time to provide some photos.

Especially when you're only asking $1,049,000. I mean, a million bucks is small potatoes for a baller realtor like this.

And speaking of a million bucks, according to this incredibly savvy listing agent if you buy this property it will actually only cost you $669,000. You see, according to the listing description, "Rents coming in at $2050/month...offsets over $380,000 of mortgage at 5%!"

Well that's an interesting way to look at things! I guess banging hookers for the rest of your life instead of getting married offsets wedding costs, but I digress.

So, all you have to do is run a veritable boarding house and the price is magically slashed by $36%! [Of course, they might as well have calculated the offset "savings" at -111.1% because there's no way in holy hell you'll find a 5% jumbo loan today. The FHA's not even drunk enough to touch that one].

With a bargain like that, I'm shocked there has been no interest in this gem!

I mean, come on! The asking price has been slashed aggressively--down a whole 11% in six months. What a steal!

Dec 18, 2009 - Price Changed $1,049,000
Oct 14, 2009 - Relisted
Oct 09, 2009 - Delisted
Sep 25, 2009 - Price Changed $1,119,000
Jul 01, 2009 - Listed $1,185,000
Dec 14, 2005 - Sold $935,000 (0.5%/yr)
Aug 05, 2004 - Listed
Aug 29, 2003 - Sold $925,000

Interestingly, the 2003 owner was unable to capitalize on the rampant, batshit insane housing bubble run-up. A year after purchasing for $925,000, he tried to sell it. So far, so good--paint-by-numbers bubble flipping. But after 16 months on the market (remember, this is near the apex of The Great Housing Bubble! Studios with murphy beds never spent more than a week on the MLS) he sold to today's current seller for $935,000--a meager $10,000 profit. Not enough to cover even a fifth of sales commissions).

This place must be a real shithole.

The current seller, ironically, has fallen into the same trap as the previous one: He overpaid for an undesireable property, in an undesireable configuration (who the fuck wants to spend all that dough to be landlord to a bunch of other people while you live in a tiny-ass 2-bedroom?) in a very desireable area. No big deal...unless you have plans to sell for a profit someday.

Plus, I'm assuming since today's seller and agent are too ashamed to include any photos it's still a steaming dump inside, making a sale even more difficult.

Hell, even crazy-ass Epraisal and Cyberhomes refuse to buy into this "million-dollar-home" horseshit:

Eppraisal - $466,262 (low) $548,544 (mid) $630,825 (high)
Cyberhomes - $681,615 (low) $757,350 (mid) $870,952 (high)

LOL! It's obvious (to everyone but the seller) that he's in a race against time and cruel, frigid reality. The previous seller was lucky to get away with only a small loss after his colossal investment mistake, and I hope this guy is as fortunate.

Maybe 2009 will be remembered as the year we put the worst behind us economically, and '10 will be the year of recovery and a return to 10x income housing prices. Then, I imagine, it truly will be a happy new year for this seller.

1 comment:

  1. I'm surprised this place got THAT. Nice location but the layout is WHACK.