Mon Chien

Napoleon Bonaparte was famously born on the island of Corsica. And speaking of coming up short on Corsica...

6132 Corsica Cir, 90803
Price: $2,495,000
Beds: 4
Baths: 4
Sq. Ft.: 2,778
$/Sq. Ft.: $898
HOA: $405
Lot Size: 7,832 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1986
MLS#: P663584
On Redfin: 335 days
Down Payment: $499,000
Monthly Nut: $15,300
Income Requirement: $713,000
Description: Rare Bay Harbour Waterfront Home. 35' Boat Dock with toy rack. Remodeled masterbath. All new appliances in kitchen. One Bedroom converted to office. Owner/Broker. Would consider property trade. 24 HR GATE GUARDED COMMUNITY WITH TENNIS COURTS AND POOLS AND SPAS

"Masterbath"? Wasn't he the DJ for Grandmaster B?


And apparently the seller is also a broker. You would think with MLS access he would, you know, access it before coming up with this certifiably WTF asking price. I mean, check out the competition:

$1,795,000 350 Parsons Lndg
0.05 miles4 bd / 3 ba 2,597 Sq. Ft.

$1,395,000 346 Parsons Lndg
0.06 miles3 bd / 3 ba 2,323 Sq. Ft.

$1,049,000 314 Parsons Lndg
0.13 miles3 bd / 3 ba 2,323 Sq. Ft.

$1,099,000 311 Whites Lndg
0.13 miles3 bd / 3 ba 2,265 Sq. Ft.

$1,329,000 320 Salta Verde Pt
0.15 miles3 bd / 4 ba 2,841 Sq. Ft.

$1,149,000 6219 Seville Ct
0.2 miles4 bd / 4 ba 2,948 Sq. Ft.

$1,149,000 5701 Malaga Pl
0.26 miles4 bd / 4 ba 2,950 Sq. Ft.

$1,479,000 5704 Lunada Ln
0.28 miles4 bd / 3 ba 3,175 Sq. Ft.

$859,000 357 Calle Marseille
0.29 miles3 bd / 3 ba 2,488 Sq. Ft.

$1,175,000 5705 Lunada Ln
0.3 miles3 bd / 3 ba 2,806 Sq. Ft

Yikes! How the hell did this dude, a real estate "professional," determine $2.5 million was a competitive price?

May 09, 2006 - Sold $2,250,000

Oh.

Now that ridiculous $898 per square foot makes sense. Surely a real estate "expert" can't lose money on a real estate purchase. Nope. And it'll stay on the market for the next 20 years at this greedtarded asking price so long as a loss is never realized.

Well, at least someone thinks that's a good idea.

OH HAI! I'M IN YER HOWZ, MARKIN MY TERATORIEZ.

Get comfy, pup. At this price, there is absolutely no chance you'll have to relocate.

Hell, don't ask me. Ask the potential buyers who have roundly and consistently ignored this waterfront joint for the last 335 days.

Look, I'm just a hardworking guy looking to buy a modest house--I'm not in the market for $2.5 million properties. But I have a feeling that people who are willing to put down 500k and part with $15,000 a month expect something a bit more impressive than, uh, this:





Have you ever seen that movie Dark City? Who knew that was filmed in LB?

The most hilarious (read: sad) aspect of this yearlong saga is that in the year it's been languishing, there has been one whole price reduction.

And was it ever a doozy:

Jul 01, 2009 - Price Changed $2,495,000
Nov 05, 2008 - Listed $2,500,000

Wow. A whopping 5 Grand.

Homeboy, you've been begging on the market since November 2008! At one point do you stop huffing your own "specialness" and get on with life?

Basically, we have an individual asking a 2007 price when Long Beach sellers--even in prestige locations--are lucky to get 2004 prices (nothing has sold during the last six months for over $1.3 mil). I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but peak prices aren't coming back.

That gilded ship sailed long ago, abandoning this seller on his lonely island to suffer in silent desperation as What Should Have Been slowly, painfully becomes What Is.