Wednesday, April 6, 2011

He'll Flip Ya For Real

Today's property is a throwback to the old days when you could buy an apartment for a good price, put a little elbow grease into it, quickly put it back on the market, and walk away with an easy, pocket-bulging profit.

Unfortunately for this dolt, those old days of easy flipping are long gone and buyers know better than to fall prey to the greed-infused motivations of gold-bricking shysters.

4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803

ADDRESS: 4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803
SQ. FT.: 1,218
$/SQ. FT.: $439
COMMUNITY: Belmont Shore/Park/Naples/Marina Pacific/Bay Harbor
MLS#: P757318
DOWN PAYMENT: $107,000
MONTHLY NUT (AT 5.05%): $2,900
HOA: $195
DESCRIPTION: Standard sale. Amazing ocean and Cataline views. Stunning end unit. Complete remodel, Kitchen has custom limestone floors, granite countertops, all new Bosch built-in appliances. Beautiful bathrooms with new vanities, counters, tile and fixtures. New carpet throughout. Huge balcony. Low HOA dues. Underground garage. First time on market since new.

Who is Cataline? That chick across the street who watches TV in the nude? Yeah, I guess that is a great selling point.

In addition to a front-row seat to Cataline's exhibitionism, this apartment has some other nice features too -- not the least of which is a killer view of the ocean and Catalina (do you suppose that's what he meant?):
4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803

Admit it. That's freaking awesome.

And it looks like a decent amount of effort went into the bathrooms (although it's strange that he would take photos of both Westin-like vanities but none of the showers -- typically the focal point of any renovated bathroom):
4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803

4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803

But what the hell happened in the kitchen? The appliances and countertops are nice, but those cabinets are cheap-ass builder-grade bullshit.

4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803

4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803

And the cost-cutting apparently made its way into the bedrooms as well. Check the original closet doors and old-ass aluminum sliding glass doors:
4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803

Remember, the asking price is $535,000, making it one of the most expensive listings in a one-mile radius (the most expensive sold comp during the last six months was $499,950). For that kind of loot, you'd better knock buyers' socks off. Instead, we get a half-assed flip.

...and a balcony full of hos:

4301 East 2ND St Unit 3b, Long Beach, CA 90803

Er, I mean hose.

What were you expecting?

I guess just like with a flipper's listing description, one little letter can make quite a difference.

And let's talk about the flipper's math for a second. He paid $360,000 in August 2010, spent three months trying to gussy it up, then tacked on a $175,000 premium before dumping it on the MLS.

In Flipperville I'm sure that kind of gouging seems perfectly reasonable, but in the real world the buyers have spoken.

Days on Market: 165

Yeah. Shocker.

I realize he took a risk and should get some profit for his efforts, but it's obvious he didn't put anywhere near $175,000 into improvements. Hell, I'd be surprised if he spent $30k (he didn't even put in the crown molding required in condos demanding premium prices). So this is nothing more than bald-faced greed.

And the worst part? All evidence suggests it has community laundry!

$535,000 and I need to keep a jar full of quarters and be subject to neighbors' passive-aggressive notes about my skivvies being in the dryer too long after they're dry?

Smell ya later, holmes.

So given all the negatives and the mounting evidence that this place is in serious need of a price cut, how can we explain the stubborn insistence on sticking to this wishing price?

"Seller/Owner/Principal Real Estate Licensed"


Well then I'm sure he knows what he's doing. After all, he's an "expert."


  1. Agreed. The days of the 500k+ 2/2 condos have come and gone. But there will always be the one sucker out there that hasn't been paying attention for the last couple of years and swallows this fliptard's bullet (should I send you a nickel every time I say fliptard?). I hope this rots on the market for another 6 months!

  2. Hi El Bee!

    Hope all is well with you and yours.

    The view is indeed sweet from that patio!! And the location is of course a very good one.

    I'm not fond of the interior very much, and especially the things you mentioned in the bedroom. If you're in that price range, you definitely wouldn't want to have to ALSO re-do the bedroom. That kinda kills the whole reason for paying a premium for a "turnkey".

    The interior is just very basic and boring. It looks just like any cheap condo rental that you'd find in any neighborhood. So really, the only two things this place has going are the views and the location.

    Oh wait, but the association is only $198 per month! That's great!!!

    But then again, you only get ONE parking space. That's bad!!!

    All in all, I could see maybe somewhere in the 300K price range, but if you're dumb enough to plunk down FIVE hundred K (plus) for THIS kind of condo?!

    Well...... lol

  3. Wow this guy is like the rip van winkle of flippers. He must have bonked his head in 2005 and just woke up to find the world has changed. Let's hope for his sake he is just having fun and doesn't actually need or want to sell the place, cuz he ain't. He'd be lucky to get what he paid for it, forgetting about his sorry ass upgrade.

  4. Just wanted to drop you a note and say that I like your blog and hope you keep it up. We sold our condo @ 2121 E 1st St back in early '05 and moved to Austin. Got pretty lucky on the timing!

    As much as I love it here in Austin I dream of a day we might decide to move back to the unbeatable weather along the coast. I'd probably go further south though - LBC was great when it was just the wife and I but not so much if you have young kids.

    I'm watching HB with interest too because some friends bought there a couple years ago despite my best efforts to convince them to hold out. Of course they paid top $ per sq ft and now they are one missed paycheck away from getting into trouble with a huge (over $600k) mortgage. Ah well, not everyone sees reality the same way.

    Keep up the good work!