A BEAUTIFUL BUNGALOW BUNGLED?: UPDATE II

Thanks to our pal Morekaos for keeping us up to date on this property.

The price was "$729,000" and changed to "$699,999"

After more than a year and a half on the market, this is way too little, way too late. It's been wearing the scarlet "S" of Stale-Ass Listings for quite some time now, and this piss-ant 4% price reduction isn't going to get them anywhere.

Given that (his second) Super Summer Selling Season(tm) is quickly coming to an end, I guess he'll just have to wait until next summer in the hopes that easy-money, $0-down loans have made a major comeback by then.

Of note, the listing still says, "PRICED TO SELL!!!" He's serious this time, folks! Now he really means it! Scout's honor!

It's worth noting that this asking price is rapidly approaching his 2004 purchase price. Yikes.

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Our pal Morekaos dropped by to inform us that 219 Belmont is back on the market...this time with a stunning $100,000 price reduction.

This idiot has been chasing the market down since January 2009 with no luck. He's praying to the high heavens that the current $749,000 ask will get the job done, but that's where it should have been priced last year. Although $384 per square foot is reasonable, you're a little late to the party, dummy.

And, although you're sporting a new price, your realtard is still sporting the same ALL-CAPS listing description. In fact, it still says "PRICED TO SELL!!!" Um, you also said that when it was priced at $849,000 in October.

So, if it was supposedly "PRICED TO SELL!!!" at $849,000 but was summarily IGNORED by the buying public, with your obvious lack of real estate accumen and glaring inability to compute simple numbers and determine when something is woefully overpriced for the current market, just why should anyone trust you that this time -- really guys, I swear, no joke, I'm serious now, mulligan! -- it's really, truly "PRICED TO SELL!!!" at $749,000?

The answer is: They shouldn't trust you. Because you clearly have no idea what you're doing.

My advice is to find different work, because every day you spend in this (dying) profession is just another 24 hours you look like a total dumbass.

And not to pile on (okay, okay...to pile on) it's worth noting that this little-r realtor still hasn't fixed the "SEPERATE" typo. Heckuva job, dipshit! You're a real pro!

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Hi puppy!

219 Belmont Ave, 90803
Price: $849,000
Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,950
$/Sq. Ft.: $435
Lot Size: 6,150 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1920
MLS#: P705713
On Redfin: 270 days
Down Payment: $169,800
Income Requirement: $243,000
Monthly Nut: $4,700 - $5,100 (depending on financing)
Description: PRICED TO SELL!!! REDUCED $80,000!! THIS BEAUTIFUL CALIFORNIA BUNGALOW IS A MUST SEE! COMPLETELY REFURBISHED BOTH INSIDE AND OUT, WITH ORIGINAL BUNGALOW CHARM KEPT INTACT. ORIGINAL HARDWOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT, REFINISHED TO PROTECT THEIR TIMELESS BEAUTY. FRONT & BACK YARDS NEWLY LANDSCAPED, W/LARGE BACKYARD INCLUDING SPACIOUS WOOD DECK. OPEN FLOOR PLAN WITH LARGE WINDOWS AND NATURAL SUNLIGHT. 3RD BEDROOM FEATURES FIREPLACE AND FRENCH DOORS OUT TO GARDEN, CAN BE USED AS MOTHER-IN-LAW UNIT W/SEPERATE ENTRANCE (HAS OWN GAS & WATER HOOKUPS). DEVELOPMENT OPPORTUNITIES INCLUDE BUILDING 2ND STORY FOR LARGER HOME OR ADDTL INCOME UNIT (R2 LOT). RECENT UPGRADES INCLUDE NEW ROOF WITHIN 12 MONTHS, NEW INSIDE PAINT. WALKING DISTANCE TO 2ND STREET WITH AMAZING RESTAURANTS AND SHOPPING, 2 BLOCKS TO BEACH. OCEAN VIEW FROM FRONT OF PROPERTY. WARM, FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD NEAR EXCELLENT SCHOOLS.

"SEPERATE"?

WHY, OH WHY DO YOU PEOPLE INSIST ON WRITING IN ALL CAPS? SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE EXPLAIN IT TO ME. MAYBE THERE IS A LEGITIMATE REASON, THAT ONCE BROUGHT TO LIGHT, WILL FOREVER CONVINCE ME THAT THIS HAS A PURPOSE OTHER THAN ANNOYING THE LIVING, BREATHING SHIT OUT OF ME.

THIS HOUSE IS FREAKING SWEET. I AM HARD PRESSED TO FIND ANY MAJOR FLAWS WITH IT. IT'S BIG (FOR BELMONT HEIGHTS), HAS MASSIVE CURB APPEAL AND A CUTE LITTLE YARD, AND IS IN A KILLER NEIGHBORHOOD.

BUT HE ACTUALLY EXPECTS US TO BE IMPRESSED WITH THIS PROCLAMATION: "REDUCED $80,000!!"

HEY SHIT HEEL, ALL THAT MEANS IS THAT YOU WERE $80,000 OVERPRICED. CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING A TURD-BURGLING GREEDHEAD--AND HAPPILY IDENTIFYING YOURSELF AS SUCH TO THE REST OF THE WORLD.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S "PRICED TO SELL!!!"? A HOUSE THAT FUCKING SELLS.
IT MAKES YOU WONDER: IF "850,000 IS "PRICED TO SELL," AND HE WAS RECENTLY PRICED AT A WALLET-NUKING $930,000...THEN JUST HOW WTF WAS HIS INITIAL ASKING PRICE TO EARN HIM THESE LAST 270 DAYS ON THE MARKET? $3 MILLION? 10?

IT DOESN'T MATTER. THE FACT IS, THIS DUDE WITH THE SWEET HOUSE AND THE BAD ASS DOG ON THE LAWN HAS BEEN GINGERLY REDUCING THE PRICE FOR ALMOST A YEAR TO NO AVAIL. SO, AFTER THIS LATEST $80,000 REDUCTION, SHOULD HE PLACE A CALL TO U-HAUL AND INVEST IN SOME CORRUGATED BOXES?

UH, MAYBE?

LET'S NOT FORGET HOW AWESOME THIS NEIGHBORHOOD IS. AND ALTHOUGH THE PROPERTY FEATURES A SMALL, SO-SO KITCHEN, THIS PLACE IS CHARMING AND THREE BEDS AND 2,000 SQUARE FEET IN THE HEIGHTS IS HIGHLY DESIRABLE.

ONE LOOK AT THE PRICING HISTORY...

Oct 03, 2009 - Listed $849,000
Sep 12, 2009 - Delisted
May 07, 2009 - Price Changed
Mar 04, 2009 - Price Changed
Jan 14, 2009 - Price Changed
Jan 13, 2009 - Listed
Apr 30, 2004 - Sold $635,000

...AND IT'S CLEAR THAT IF HE GETS AGGRESSIVE (AND DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH HE DUMPED INTO THOSE MILD UPGRADES--WHICH DOESN'T APPEAR TO BE THAT MUCH) HE WILL NOT ONLY GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE, BUT WILL WALK WITH A BIT OF PROFIT IN A BRUTAL MARKET WHERE MOST LONG BEACH SELLERS THAT BOUGHT A FEW YEARS AGO ARE LOSING THEIR SHIRTS (AND PANTS AND SOCKS AND HATS AND ANKLE WEIGHTS AND SHOE HORNS...).

AND THAT'S BECAUSE HE BOUGHT SMART IN '04.

NOW HE JUST NEEDS TO SELL SMART IN '09.

GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN STILL COMMAND A PREMIUM, PAL. KNOCKING ANOTHER $80,000 OFF MIGHT START A BIDDING WAR, OR, WHO KNOWS, IT MIGHT JUST LEAD TO YET ANOTHER PRICE REDUCTION AS FALL REARS ITS UGLY HEAD, CASH BUYERS DRY UP, INVENTORY INCREASES, AND JUMBO FINANCING CONTINUES ITS GRADUAL RESTRICTION.

ALL WE KNOW IS SO FAR $850,000 HASN'T BEEN ENOUGH TO GARNER INTEREST. IT CERTAINLY DOESN'T HELP THAT THE ONLY NEARBY PROPERTY THAT HAS SOLD DURING THE LAST SIX MONTHS FOR ANYWHERE CLOSE TO THIS PRICE WAS IN JUNE--AND SPORTED AN EXTRA 200 EXTRA SQUARE FEET.

BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS PROPERTY AND WILL OWN A HOUSE LIKE THIS IN THE FUTURE, SO I'M ROOTING FOR HIM.

DO YOU HEAR ME??? I'M ROOTING FOR YOU AND HOPE YOU FIND A BUYER!!! OTHERWISE I FEAR YOU'LL KEEP HANGING ON TO THAT DUSTY OLD DREAM OF "SPECIALNESS" AND ENTITLEMENT TO BUBBLE PROFITS AND MISS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO SELL WITHOUT BRINGING YOUR CHECKBOOK TO THE BARGAINING TABLE!!!

GET IN THE GAME, BUDDY!!!